I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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