She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
