ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
