it hurts more in the daytime
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
