No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
