Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
