drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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