I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
