that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
