Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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