you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
