Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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