i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So vagazzling was a success
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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