high people should be assigned attendants
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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