she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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