we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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