you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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