its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
