I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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