I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
