please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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