Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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