It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize