Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
