i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
