Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
