On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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