Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
