Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
