I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
