no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
