no, he came in my armpit
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she pinky promised me she was 18
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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