he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you never un-have a 4some
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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