I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
