ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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