I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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