just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
