woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I want is dick and wine.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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