My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
