these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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