So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize