Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
