chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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