Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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