Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
