I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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