ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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