How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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