I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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