So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
