Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize