I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
