you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
