Kiss
Puke
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
