So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I've blown a few things in my day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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