Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
