there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
