a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
