Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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