good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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