I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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