i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
