Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
