im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Two words: nipple clamps
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