id be glad to
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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