k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
