he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
