True but thats because hes a fetus.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
